The Red flags to look out for in Domestic Violence relationships

Top 5 red flags for a personal relationship:

  • Jealous behaviour and/or accusing you of flirting or wanting someone else.
  • Monitoring your behaviour, wanting to know where you are at all times, relentless calling or texting during the time you are away.
  • Do not accept responsibility for situations and blame you for issues. Includes bad mouthing and blaming ex-partners to you.
  • Call you and/or your family and friends names.
  • Puts you down in private and/or public.
  • Does not respect your opinions and wants things done their way only.

Behaviours that are abuse in a relationship:

  • Total control over income where you need to ask for items you need or want. All bank accounts are in their name.
  • Monitoring spending and demanding receipts.
  • Abusing you, children or pets, either verbally or physically (pushing, pulling, hitting, spitting…)
  • Forcing you to be sexual when you do not want to be.
  • Intimidating, threatening or standing over you to get their own way.

Behaviours to look for in friends or colleagues that you suspect are in an abusive relationship:

  • Physical signs such as black eyes, bruises, unexplained pain.
  • Wearing clothes that cover their body (whatever the weather) to potentially hide signs of physical abuse.
  • Emotional signs: Flinching with sudden movements, increased anxiety and/or crying, numb and distracted. These could be from trauma not only Domestic violence.
  • Behavioural signs: withdrawing or isolating yourself, not attending social events, avoiding things they usually enjoy, sleeping too much or too little.

If you are experiencing domestic violence, remember:

  • You are not to blame. The domestic abuse perpetrator is 100% responsible and it is up to them to ask for help to change. You cannot do it for them.
  • Even if the abuser gets help for their violence and abuse, it does not always mean they will change.
  • Couples therapy, mediation, anger management or individual counselling for the abuse are not safe interventions if your relationship is abusive.
  • Help and support is available for you.
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While Open Support supports over 80 woman and children p/a through our domestic and family violence programs and services, we do not offer a 24/7 crisis line. If you or someone you know is in crisis, waiting could become dangerous, so please call  ‍1800 656 463  who are open 24/7 and they can always refer you back to Open Support.

NSW Domestic Violence Line
Free call 1800 656 463
Translating and Interpreting Services: 13 14 50
TTY 1800 67 14 42
The Domestic Violence Line is open 24 hours a day, 7 days a week