The Red flags to look out for in Domestic Violence relationships
Top 5 red flags for a personal relationship:
Jealous behaviour and/or accusing you of flirting or wanting someone else.
Monitoring your behaviour, wanting to know where you are at all times, relentless calling or texting during the time you are away.
Do not accept responsibility for situations and blame you for issues. Includes bad mouthing and blaming ex-partners to you.
Call you and/or your family and friends names.
Puts you down in private and/or public.
Does not respect your opinions and wants things done their way only.
Behaviours that are abuse in a relationship:
Total control over income where you need to ask for items you need or want. All bank accounts are in their name.
Monitoring spending and demanding receipts.
Abusing you, children or pets, either verbally or physically (pushing, pulling, hitting, spitting…)
Forcing you to be sexual when you do not want to be.
Intimidating, threatening or standing over you to get their own way.
Behaviours to look for in friends or colleagues that you suspect are in an abusive relationship:
Physical signs such as black eyes, bruises, unexplained pain.
Wearing clothes that cover their body (whatever the weather) to potentially hide signs of physical abuse.
Emotional signs: Flinching with sudden movements, increased anxiety and/or crying, numb and distracted. These could be from trauma not only Domestic violence.
Behavioural signs: withdrawing or isolating yourself, not attending social events, avoiding things they usually enjoy, sleeping too much or too little.
If you are experiencing domestic violence, remember:
You are not to blame. The domestic abuse perpetrator is 100% responsible and it is up to them to ask for help to change. You cannot do it for them.
Even if the abuser gets help for their violence and abuse, it does not always mean they will change.
Couples therapy, mediation, anger management or individual counselling for the abuse are not safe interventions if your relationship is abusive.
Help and support is available for you.
While Open Support supports over 80 woman and children p/a through our domestic and family violence programs and services, we do not offer a 24/7 crisis line. If you or someone you know is in crisis, waiting could become dangerous, so please call 1800 656 463 who are open 24/7 and they can always refer you back to Open Support.
NSW Domestic Violence Line Free call 1800 656 463 Translating and Interpreting Services: 13 14 50 TTY 1800 67 14 42 The Domestic Violence Line is open 24 hours a day, 7 days a week